Prayers For Things I Would Like to Have Happen When I’m dying

God, if you can arrange it, when I’m dying,
   make the sun come out and shine really brightly
   so that I can still make believe that I believe
        that I can still see as far as the sun can shine
Feed me all of the things I’ve been holding off on
   because I’d heard they were bad for me.
   (PS, I’m especially fond of chocolate and cherries
        and the icing off of a white sheet cake.)

And once more, before I go,
   I’d like to smell my grandmother’s cinnamon apple pie,
        I miss my grandmother…

Bring together all of the world leaders into a very big room
   and tell them that they will have to sign a non-aggression pact
        with the whole world before they can get out,
   and plant a chip in their brains so that, if they violate the pact,
        they will be forced to hear Britney Spears singing
         “Pretty Girls” in their ears for the rest of their lives.

Arrange to have someone take care of Bixby after I’m gone
   I think he’ll miss me when I’m gone,
        and I don’t want to have to worry about him.
               (Tip: he’s not fond of dry food, salty foods, or creamy stuff from the table.
                    He does like wet foot, sweet food and my white workout socks from the garage),
Make Vladimir Putin discover Jesus.
   Not the hateful one of Franklin Graham,
        but the good one who Father Berrigan hung with.
Make Franklin Graham discover Jesus
        (you know which one).
And make my buddy Steve finally discover...anyone, male or female, I don't care which,
     and then be able to settle down,
     and not have to play around anymore, and do scary things. 
        He’s a good guy and deserves a real life.

Banish the "Majority of the Majority" rule in the house
   and the Filibuster in the Senate
        to help Congress vote like a democracy again.
   And if they refuse to do it,
        plant the Brittany Spears chip in their heads
   (I really miss our democracy)
Don't let Trump win…


And while you’re on a roll, make the little town of
   Simojovel, Chiapas, I visited in southern Mexico,
   have clean water,
        and healthier children,
             and more cattle
                    and better prices for their coffee and corn.
   And when you get that done,
        work on the next few thousand villages
             down the road where I’ve never been
                    and whose names I'll never know

Make us feed the hungry, heal the sick,
   clothe the naked, welcome the homeless,
        bring good news to the poor, let the oppressed go free,
             and a few dozen other things that Jesus mentioned
                     that we’ve never quite gotten around to doing.


And if you can’t get to all of those,
     at least do this:
     Contact that sweet woman I gave my heart to a few years ago
          who took it and broke it
          and never came back,
     and have her come around again, at least for a while.
          Just a little while,
          and not to do too much.
     Just ask her to sit at the side of my bed
          while I am breathing poorly,
             and sometimes still aware,
                 and hold my hand.
     And have her tell me that she made a mistake
          that I actually was the best person for her
          and that she is now sorry after all these years.
          And that she always wanted to love me.
             And I will believe that I believe her.
             And I’ll tell her I love her too.
             And we will hold hands,
                 and I will smile.
             And I will be happy.
             And then I’ll go.

That’s all I want. It’s not a big list.